Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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