Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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