how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
