we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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