Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
