I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
