I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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