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He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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