I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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