He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
