Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas