My room smells like vodka and shame
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize