You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
