Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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