I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
barbara walters just said penis...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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