I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
