i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
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But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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