med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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