Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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