and you said cock pushups were impossible
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
