Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

What's wrong?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

(503): View more from Oregon

Pussy.

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(503): What's wrong? (1-503): Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans. (503): Pussy. http://tfl.nu/sltt

Replies (18) Good night (977) Bad night (2317)
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(503): View more from Oregon

The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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(503): The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator http://tfl.nu/5qfu

Replies (37) Good night (646) Bad night (5416)
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(214): View more from Texas

ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.

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(214): ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it. http://tfl.nu/o4vn

Replies (7) Good night (3736) Bad night (700)
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(806): View more from Texas

I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.

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(806): I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/owra

Replies (25) Good night (642) Bad night (3518)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

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(724): You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake. http://tfl.nu/kf3k

Replies (22) Good night (5578) Bad night (762)
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(650): View more from California

You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.

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(650): You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him. http://tfl.nu/2plm

Replies (14) Good night (5675) Bad night (1155)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy

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(301): I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy http://tfl.nu/508u

Replies (16) Good night (3953) Bad night (877)
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(404): View more from Georgia

She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.

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(404): She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more. http://tfl.nu/sgvu

Replies (12) Good night (4867) Bad night (1417)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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(918): I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out. http://tfl.nu/s7ox

Replies (6) Good night (1310) Bad night (2903)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve

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(412): Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve http://tfl.nu/y29u

Replies (11) Good night (3185) Bad night (790)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Why is there bacon braided in my hair

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(303): Why is there bacon braided in my hair http://tfl.nu/324s

Replies (15) Good night (3393) Bad night (989)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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(928): I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad. http://tfl.nu/59qz

Replies (26) Good night (885) Bad night (1799)
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(305): View more from Florida

Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?

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(305): Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference? http://tfl.nu/v6oa

Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (1697)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.

(848): View more from New Jersey

A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.

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(848): We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples. (848): A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck. http://tfl.nu/35ft

Replies (3) Good night (1459) Bad night (559)
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(727): View more from Florida

But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend

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(727): But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend http://tfl.nu/sjdd

Replies (7) Good night (449) Bad night (845)

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