I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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