I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off