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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.

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• 

  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

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• (+34): View more from Spain

  what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30

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• (916): View more from California

  Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.

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  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (408): View more from California

  my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  My kitchen gets me.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine

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