Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
