Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
