woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
