How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
