Sry I called you an 8
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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