There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
