Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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