So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
