Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
