guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Alive.
So much puke
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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