the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
