At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize