I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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