those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
