You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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