Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
