I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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