so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
