dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
