Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize