I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
