so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
