she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
