on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
