so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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