I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize