I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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