I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
