he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
