Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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