and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize