got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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