Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
