I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
is that a dick in a sweater?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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