i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
