The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
