You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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