Whod you bang
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Randomize
