i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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