Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
