Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
