is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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